wonder why i get depressed easily these days....i guess it happens when u have too much time or no goal to work towards. i try not to think about what if i had gone overseas. sometimes i wonder why i could not achieve that 70% aggregate. is it because i was too distracted by stuff in my first 2 years? i guess thats possible. in retrospect, even though i thot that i did study hard, i guess it wasn't hard enough. or maybe just not studying smart. i'm not brilliant. not born brilliant. and to make matters worse, i don't exactly have a great passion for medicine. but i'm over that now. i've got over that internal struggle in my first 2 yrs. no point going back to fight the same battle now.
TJ is right...i should focus on the positives. on monday prof bought lunch for us at the nearby cafe/bistro to welcome the 2 new lab assistants. and he told us about how impt it is to get out there and do stuff. he is always an advocate of being an active participant and not just a passive observer. which made me realise that thru out my secondary and JC life, i've always been content to just sit by and watch things happen...watch pple go on stage and make speeches, watch people win medals in sports, while i'm always down there in the crowd, amongst the masses, looking up at these pple. it didn't help that i was demoralised in scouts.
its really time for me to change. i really should hv done more in IH in my first yr. spending all the time on studies is not healthy. it causes poor time management.
just watched Argentina vs Australia at the MCG last night. it was an awesome match an i was so fortunate to be able to get the last concession ticket for just $20! the highlight for me , of course was to watch the 2 time world champion team live in action and they are just classy. the soccer they play is just so fluid and smooth. they made the socceroos look clumsy. even though the score was just 1-0, the aussies were definitely outclassed by the south americans.
its a pity i had to go alone though. it was so last minute and could not find pple to go. it makes me realise how tough it is to go thru life alone without having anyone by your side to pour your side to pour ur feelings or emotions out to.
for now...i really should buck up on my lab work and get serious about this literature review. no point being slack now and not accomplishing anything after one yr. like prof said: what you put in is what you get out of it. wise words from an accomplished consultant opthalmologist / eye surgeon / ski instructor / cyclist ....etc...
be inspired.
