Wednesday, December 03, 2003


Hi all....apologies but this entry is not going to be very long by virtual of the fact that I'm typing with one hand, no thanks to the fact that I broke my right lower arm last week during SOC. Sounds silly huh? But I guess that's life. Shit happens, especially when you are 2 mths from commissioning.

My NS career hangs in the balance now. People tell me it doesn't really matter, in fact, its a great excuse to downgrade and land myself some "lobo" (switchoff) job. Well, yea, they have a point. I'm not planning to apply for a govt scholarship, so NS really has no bearing on my future carrer. Besides, I've already gone thru most of OCS and benefitted from the training. On the other hand, it sucks to think about how far I've come and how I'm possibly going to be denied the final "icing" on the cake. Sometimes I can't help but think that what counts is the bar on the shoulder, the sword, prestige, and of course, the fat allowance. Of course, one must not overlook the responsibilities that come with that bar.

Do I believe in fate? Yea? No? Sometimes yes? Maybe no? It irritates me at times to hear about how everything is planned for and that I may not be "fates" to be this or that. Its just very hard to accept. Why? You ask urself? Is the plan for you a very cruel one that is full of obstacles and trials? Does it really have to be this way? What have I done to deserve this?
I must however, admit that it is sometimes true that in retrospect, certain things which were deemed to be "bad" at that point in time would appear to have its purpose and meaning.

Even if I do not eventually successfully commission, one thing that I'll take with me would be the strong friendships which I have forged with my fellow cadets, from TST all the way to Pro term. There are countless memories and experiences which I would fondly recall in later years. OCS has been an exhilerating journey and though I have to be rudely taken out just as we can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I would never forget the countless exercises and incidents from the day I put on the lanyard thru to the fateful morning at the SOC ground. I would always recall vividly, enduring leadership field camp, Ngiam evacuating Niron in section FC, my infamous compass incident with Brenson, digging a command post during spade, bashing thru godforsaken brunei jungles, and being battalion S3 for Gemini.

As the lieutenant aptly pointed out to me during SIT test in BMT, OCS is a journey. A journey it has been, indeed.