Sunday, May 02, 2004

A friend of mind just told me that he had found my blog thru some then dawned on me that its been ages since I got down to updating my blog. I wish I could do it everyday conscientiously, that would certainly be a great way to chronicle my life at present and provide me with sth solid to look back on in the event that i want to reminince my life in NS. Sounds unlikely.

But I do wonder why people pour out their heart and soul on their blogs on such a regular basis, some almost everyday. Its a great way to air one's grievances, but at the same time, its a sign of really heavy emotional baggage that one is carrying around. But why bare all on the net? Where have the close friends gone? I must agree that for some things, it is really awkward to talk about them face to face, but I guess having the courage to share one's feelings is one of the prerequisites in developing a close relationship.

So much for blogs.....I just came back from a swim...feels really good. Life rocks when u can drive, Singapore suddenly becomes more interesting cos it just opens up a whole host of areas for u to explore and check out. Must say that I was pretty fortunate to pass on the first go. The tester looked pretty strict but at least he wasn't unreasonable.....deducted points only when i really deserved it. Can't imagine waiting another month for the retest and bleeding more cash into the lessons. I had to keep telling myself to calm down and control the adrenaline rush before the test. During the test itself I did not for one moment look at him for fear that the white and blue uniform would just freak me out. Towards the end on the way back to CDC I was almost hopping for joy but had to keep reminding myself "its not over yet."

Met up with an old friend for lunch today. Known him since pri sch then met him again while in signals. I was reminded that NS life is not all a bed of roses for everyone. Not everyone gets to stay out and take courses outside, not everyone gets to book out at 12 noon sharp on saturdays, not everyone gets to spend sunday nights in the comfort of their own home. I have come to accept that there isn't really such a thing as absolute fairness in this world. The Army is a great example that illustrates this point. Some people chiong so hard and draw a small allowance, some officers do no jackshit everyday and collect fat paychecks. In such a large organisation, is really isn't easy to come up with a framework that would guarantee some form of equality. There are bound to be loopholes and people adept at exploiting the system. At the end of the day, u've just got to be happy with what u've got, count your blessings, and make yourself comfortable, wherever you are. Unless, of course, u have a way out.